Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans
12:12

How many days I held onto that Scripture! Patient in affliction. Patient in affliction. Patient in affliction. I wish I could say that I always lived it. But that would certainly be far from the truth. As anyone who knows me will tell you, I am NOT a patient person. I'm not proud of that -- in fact I would love to change that about myself. I think that having my daughter Abby is God's answer to my all too often prayer, "God, grant me patience" You see, if you ask for patience, what God does is give you circumstances that will constantly test your patience level -- like a six year old girl who is slower than molasses.

I know I have had my share of affliction. So has most anyone who is reading this blog. Now that the pain of Ed's suicide is a distant memory, it is easy to forget, and to allow the little things in life to get to me... the job... the kids... the house. I never thought I would see the day when I would complain about trivial matters. But I suppose that is a sign that normalcy has returned to my life. For so long, when someone complained about such things, I wanted to scream, " Do you want to hear about some REAL problems???" Oh, and I suppose there were days when I told them...

Today, I am trying to stay in gratitude. Gratitude for the life I have today. I have a wonderful husband. I have three really great kids, each with their own uniqueness. But each day they call me mom, and they tell me they love me. Abby has become such a daddy's girl. That term used to absolutely break my heart... daddy's girl.. but now, there is joy in my heart as I watch her snuggle up on the couch with her new "dad" Michael has a man in his life... one that cares about him, one that teaches him things, one he is growing closer to each day. Clayton has a "mom" now. I hope I do honor to that title. He has had so much pain in his little life, I hope I can now provide him with some stability and joy.

Yes, there are life's trials. My job is ever so challenging I still have that longing to be at home with the kids. This is my current struggle. What was that third part of the scripture???? Ah yes, Faithful in Prayer. I pray that God will equip me to do this job... I pray that I will find peace in my situation. And if it be His will, I pray that I will be able to work less out of the house, and be with the kids more.