Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Kids can be so mean

My heart is simply breaking tonight for my oldest child. I was sitting at home when he got home from school this afternoon, due to his little sister coming down with a virus at school today. I asked him how his day was, and he replied with "horrible". It seems he was playing a little football on the playgroun after school with 3 other boys. The two he was playing against were in fifth grade -- Mike and his other friend are in fourth. Seems there was an arguement over a play that ended in Mike scoring a touchdown. Words were said, then this 5th grader decided to whale on my son. He punched him 3 times in the stomach and one good punch to his face.

Mike fell to the ground, did not hit back, while his friend threatened to get the principal. This got the bullies attention and he began apologizing profusely. Mike told him it was ok, and by this time, his friends dad pulled up to take them home. He did not tell anyone at the school.

Tonight he came to me, so worried. What should he do? Should he talk to his teacher tomorrow? I honestly do not know. If he doesn't tell, he feels this kid is getting away with this. If he does tell, he fears drawing negative attention to himself. UGH. As I look at his face, he has a definate fist sized mark on the side of his face. I told him to stop worrying about what to do. He has a strong tendancy towards worrying and anxiety.

Well, we talked for a while, and he opens up to me that he has about 5 good friends at school, but just about everyone else picks on him and teases him. He loves sports, and likes to play at recess. But the kids he plays with are mean to him. I don't know why. He is very outgoing, and probably a little nerdy with his sense of humor (gets it honest from me). He is probably not the most coordinated kid, but he still loves to play. I feel what really is happening is that this "popular" kids have picked up on the fact that he is a pretty insecure kid. I think he is really lacking in self-esteem. Sometimes this causes him to boast when he does well. Sometmes it causes him to try to draw too much attention to himself. He is also emotional, and therefore probably reacts to the teasing, hence making himself a target for more teasing. I was teased relentlessly as a kid, for many of the same reasons. I HATE WATCHING MY SON GO THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH. It is breaking my heart.

I don't know if I helped him any. I told him that I wanted him to focus on the friends he has. I told him to not try to "fit in" with these other kids. Stick with the kids that you have things in common with. If kids are jerks to you, don't continue to try to hang out with them. As far as the fight, I told him we would discuss this tomorrow. How do I help him? How do I help without interferring? Why did his F&^%$#%$ dad have to kill himself, leaving him so fragile and vulnerable?

I just want him to be happy and secure in who he is. How do I help him?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Happy New Year!

New Years 2008 I know it's been a while since I last blogged, and I have probably lost most of my readers, but that's ok. But I'm back, only with the excuse of "been busy" as we all are.

Here we are, in 2008... It is so nice to look back on a year gone by and feel that it was a really good year. Really, Reaaaallllly good! Just over a year ago, on December 23rd, 2006 Brad proposed to me -- and that is where it all began. I can actually say that 2007 has made up for all the crap of the previous 4 years. Felt like it was my reward for perservering... In 2007 I started a new job, in a new town. I moved nearly 150 miles away from the only city I have ever called home. I changed my children's school mid-year. We bought a new beautiful house. Brad and Clayton moved in, and in May, we all became one family. I am now the proud mom of three great kids. And the happy wife of the most amazing man. Yes, 2007 was a year of blessings.

It was also a year of change, and some struggles. Blending a family is not always easy. 6, 8 and 10 year olds -- two boys who were used to always getting their way makes for lots of power struggles and bickering. I will admit that some days they drive me completely NUTS! But we are adapting, all of us. And I hope that by this time 2009 many of the struggles will be a distant memory.

No resolutions this year. I am conituing on my journey to better health... getting more active, eating better. I have gotten Brad to join me, which will help me tremendously. I have fallen off the wagon since Thanksgiving, but it is time to get back on it... tomorrow. I swear! lol

Other than that, there is nothing too exciting to report. I hope that 2008 is a year filled with much love, health, and happiness for all of my friends out there reading.