Update on Me

Today I am 33 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Yes, I am counting the days... would be counting the minutes if I knew! I am so anxious to meet our little boy. He is an active little guy! Likes to keep me up at night with his flips, kicks and turns. We are slowly but surely getting the house and our lives ready for him to join us.

Time seems to be dragging at a snails pace. Perhaps it is the lack of sleep that pregnancy near 40 causes. God is definately preparing me for those sleepless nights! I want March 3rd to arrive so badly, but at the same time, I have so much to get done before then, that I want time to stop for a while. Brad has been painting, and building a new bedroom and moving beds and dressers. I have been doing the little I can before my body gives out on me. (which is very little!) I'm still working, although I am having trouble fitting behind the steering wheel of the van to get there! lol. My boss is allowing me some work from home time, which helps so I can take rests throughout the day.

I'm emotional, and irritable these days. I feel bad for Brad and the kids, who seem to get the brunt of my short-temper these days. But God love my husband... he just keeps on loving me, warts and all! I am really blessed.

Other than that, I've been feeling sad about some stuff with my family. It is a feeling that comes and goes. But the long and short of it is that I have always felt a little like a fish out of water. I have 3 sisters who are all friends and talk on a regular basis. I have always felt like the one that doesn't fit in. I feel like the one they don't understand. It is strange, I do feel like in other circles, most people find me to be a likable person. Most people I encounter in life seem to enjoy my humor, and I form friendships easily. But it just has never been that way with my family. I always feel like I am on the outside of some really great inside joke. hmmmm. Could be in my head, or not. I guess I will never know, and it is out of my control. But it still hurts. Maybe it is these out of whack hormones causing me to ponder this and have these feelings surface.

Well, that is an update on what is happening with me. If I get around to it, I will post some pics of my growing belly, and if I get my scanner working, I may even get some ultrasound pics posted soon.

Peace and Happy New Year!

Trish

With arms wide open

I'm wondering if anyone stills checks out my little blog. I do not post much, but somethings just need to be shouted from the rooftops... Hope the message is obvious!



Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything ...oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open

My Little Dancer

Just wanted to share some pictures from Abby's recital!

Hurting for our Kids

The bond that God created between a mother and a child is so amazing. We feel their joy, we feel their pain. We want to guard them from the hurts of this life, even though we know we can't and that they need to experience those hurts just like we have.

What strikes me is that when one of my children is going through a difficult time, it causes me to reflect on that one great loss they have endured. The loss that I still at the age of 39 have not had to live through -- the loss of their father. My son is struggling with the pains of being a boy. He has a baseball coach who puts winning above the spirit of the child. And my child is not making the cut, and therefore is spending entire games on the bench. Mike loves baseball, sometimes so much that it makes me crazy. The boy would eat, drink and sleep baseball if I would allow it. But the fact of the matter is -- he has not had a dad to play with him, to teach him, to take the interest in him -- like these other boys have had. I have played catch with him when I could. But I'm a girl, am not very athletic, and until last year, was a fulltime working solo mom of two. Not a whole lot of time for catch.

Watching his frustration, feeling like I want to help but I can't, just hurts. It's only little league -- I do not want to be one of those over-zealous parents. I know he is not as good as those other boys. But to see the look of disappointment on his face breaks my heart.

He has a really good step-dad. But it still brings back to me the pain that his birth-dad is not here, and has not been here for a really long time. What would he be telling Mike if he were here? What words of wisdom would he have for his son? How would he help build our son's confidence? I suppose he would be doing just what I am doing, and what Brad is doing. Just telling him we are proud of him. Telling him we support whatever decision he makes regarding this stupid baseball team. Reminding him that this is just another life lesson, and that life is more than just baseball.

If Ed could say anything to his children, I think this song pretty much sums it all up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraZEoRnkPc

One Year Ago Today!

The fairytale began...

...and it's still going strong.

I love you, honey!

Trish